Will you know he's the one?
Trusting Yourself in the Journey to Engagement
One of the most common fears I hear from many of you is that you don’t trust yourself. It’s literally the biggest decision of your life, and you’re scared that you might make the wrong one. So let’s focus on some important facts related to self-trust.
How Do I Know If It’s the Right Decision to Get Engaged?
It’s a combination of factors.
Toss the Paper
Looking good on paper is a stepping stone to getting a date. It’s what helps you decide to go out in the first place. There is enough alignment to want to meet this person. Once you’re on the date and dating, the paper becomes fairly meaningless. Don’t get stuck on the paper.
Use Your Head: It’s Like the Captain of the Ship
Your head is like a captain. It’s important for discerning whether this match is in alignment with you. Make sure it doesn’t jump to finding faults and flaws at every turn, as that may just be a protective mechanism to create distance. Your head on its own is limited, however, as it will present all sides of a situation and confuse you. It’s like a car spinning its wheels. The only way you will know if it’s RIGHT for YOU is if you gather feedback and data from the rest of the crew—your heart and body/gut.
Feelings Are Like the Crew
They give you feedback on which direction to go. How do you feel when you’re with him? Can you be yourself? Do you feel safe, supported, respected? These are crucial questions to ask yourself. Also, if someone seems too good to be true... they usually are! We are looking for balance—do you feel connected, and can you see the challenges or flaws that you would have to be okay with? (Hint: He needs to do the same with you.)
Your Ideal Soulmate Has Flaws
Yes, you read that right! Embracing imperfections is key to ensuring you're entering a relationship with open eyes and grounded expectations.
The 80/20 Rule
Strive for balance. Your ideal soulmate should be 80% wonderful, but it's crucial to identify the 20% that may present challenges. This approach ensures you're making decisions with a clear understanding of who you're dealing with. Eyes wide open and in touch with reality. You never know for sure, that is 100%. Let’s go for 80/20. Is 80% aligned?
What If He Is Pretending to Be Someone He’s Not?
5 Red Flags to Spot Potential Deception
Lack of Genuine Opinions:
If they're always nodding along, it might be a sign they're not keeping it real. Genuine opinions, even when they differ, are essential for authentic connections.Excessive Flattery:
When compliments seem over the top or not quite genuine, it's worth paying attention. Authenticity in praise is important for a healthy relationship.Fear of Disagreement:
Avoiding any form of disagreement, even about small stuff, might signal that they're hiding something. Healthy relationships involve open communication, and it’s impossible that there never is a different opinion, conflict, or want.Boundary Issues:
Being 'too nice' or always agreeable may seem pleasant at first, but sustainable relationships thrive on mutual respect, which includes expressing individual needs and boundaries. Trying to get you to always do what they want through manipulation and flattery would also be a red flag.Rushing Things:
If they're rushing into commitment or showering you with love right away, it's essential to be cautious. Hidden agendas can sometimes lurk behind overly rapid romantic gestures.
Curious to learn more? Reach out to me—I’m here to support you.
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